Lessons From Lincoln’s Farewell Address

Lessons From Lincoln: What You Say When You Give A Heartfelt Speech
By Gene Griessman, Ph.D.

“It is a gem that rightly took its place as one of the greatest of his speeches, but that is seldom recognized for what it truly represents: a stunning example not of spontaneous eloquence, but of Lincoln’s meticulous ability to edit and rewrite, even under pressure.”
–Harold Holzer, Lincoln President Elect (2008:300)

Lincoln’s beautiful speech that has come down to us is not exactly the speech that the President-elect gave at the train station when he departed for his inauguration. The speech Lincoln actually gave was chunkier, less poetic, less eloquent. The final version of that speech was carefully crafted by Lincoln himself as his train pulled away from Springfield, Illinois.

That day, a somber throng of supporters followed the President-elect to the station to see him off. There were old friends, and relatives, and new supporters

It was very emotional, and many in the audience were in tears. Lincoln, himself was visibly moved. Eyewitness James C. Conklin wrote: “His own breast heaved with emotion, and he could scarcely command his feelings sufficiently to commence.”

Prior to his departure Lincoln had told journalists not to expect much of a speech. He would just make a few obligatory remarks.

But when New York Tribune journalist Henry Villard heard the speech, and witnessed the reaction of the crowd, he told Lincoln that he thought his remarks should be shared with the nation. Lincoln agreed, and as the train pulled out of the station, Lincoln began writing.

Here is the final, Lincoln-edited version of the farewell speech:

My friends — No one, not in my situation, can appreciate my feeling of sadness at this parting. To this place, and the kindness of these people, I owe every thing. Here I have lived a quarter of a century, and have passed from a young to an old man. Here my children have been born, and one is buried. I now leave, not knowing when, or whether ever, I may return, with a task before me greater than that which rested upon Washington. Without the assistance of the Divine Being who ever attended him, I cannot succeed. With that assistance I cannot fail. Trusting in Him who can go with me, and remain with you and be every where for good, let us confidently hope that all will yet be well. To His care commending you, as I hope in your prayers you will commend me, I bid you an affectionate farewell.

Commentary
Just because you may never give a speech that will find its way into the history books is no reason why you can’t learn lessons from one that did. Here are six lessons.

One. Never give the same speech once. That’s the provocative and wise advice from author Harvey MacKay. In other words, if you take the time to do something well, look for further ways to use what you created. Villard recognized an opportunity to communicate a very important message to the nation. Lincoln agreed, and used his short speech to convey a special message of hope and confidence: “With the assistance of the Divine Being,” he wrote, “I cannot fail.”

Two. Edit, edit, edit. There are few if any pieces you will ever write or speeches you will ever give that cannot stand some improvement. You will almost always find something that could be excised or added or polished.

Three. Try out elements of your speech before you use them in public. Great speakers always do this. They do a test-drive. Lincoln virtually worshiped George Washington, and never thought of himself as an equal. But Lincoln felt that his burden—saving a union that was hurtling toward civil war—was a burden even greater than the one that Washington had carried. Shortly before his departure, Lincoln had said as much in a private conversation. Apparently Lincoln’s remarks went down well, so he incorporated the concept into his public comments: “…with a task before me greater than that which rested upon Washington.

Four. Make sure the written version works as spoken English. Lincoln made it a practice to read aloud everything he wrote before he let it go. Whether you read the final version of the farewell address, or say it aloud, it works.

Five. Be poetic if you have poetic gifts. Lincoln loved poetry, steeped himself in it, and wrote poetry himself. He memorized Shakespeare, and Burns, and the King James Version of the Bible. So, when he revised his spoken remarks, it shouldn’t surprise us that his thoughts took poetic form. For example, he used antiphony in “Here my children have been born/and one is buried.” But do not go overboard with poetic flourishes. Better to make a plain, unadorned, heartfelt speech than to give one that is flowery and over-written.

Six. Touch emotions. Lincoln was a great believer in the power of logic, and his speeches have the power of a mathematical argument. But at Springfield he let the audience briefly look into his heart, feel its beat, and hear his anguish. And they were moved to tears. He expressed his gratitude. Expressing gratitude the way Lincoln did is one of the most powerful things you can do. ” To this place, and the kindness of these people”—poetry again—“I owe every thing.” He spoke of his family and of his dead son Eddie who was buried there. Then he said “I now leave, not knowing when, or whether ever, I may return…”

Lincoln had a premonition, and had spoken about it, that he would not live to return,

He was right. Lincoln never returned to Springfield until another train returned with two coffins—his own and his son Willie’s—to be buried there.

From the book, Lincoln on Communication.

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Gene Griessman is an award-winning professional speaker, actor, and consultant. His video “Lincoln on Communication” is owned by thousands of corporations, libraries, and government organizations. He has spoken at conventions all over the world. To learn more about his presentations, contact us at 404-435-2225 or abe@mindspring.com Learn more about Gene Griessman at presidentlincoln.com and atlantaspeakersbureau.com

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99 WAYS TO GET MORE OUT OF EVERY DAY [Kindle Edition] $9.95

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The Children of Immigrants: Scapegoats or Treasures?

Simple Simon Says The Children of Illegal Immigrants Should Not Be Be Treated Like Criminals
By Simple Simon

The other day Simple Simon read about plight of an honor student–let’s call her Lisa.  Lisa is a senior at a state university, but she won’t get to graduate.  It has nothing to do with grades.  Her grades are excellent.

She has been outed as an illegal.   Lisa looks like an American, talks like an American, and thinks of herself as an American.  She  grew up here, all her friends are here, she has never left this country, and she never wants to leave. Her crime?  Lisa had the bad judgment to accompany her parents to this country when she was three years old, oblivious to the fact that her parents had no papers.  Clearly bad judgment on her part.

There are literally millions of children whose parents are undocumented who have the same problem. Millions. Virtually all of these children will never leave the good old USA of their own volition, and there’s no way in hell will they all be deported.

What to do with them? Persecute them? Make them scapegoats for the sins of their parents?

That’s what the legislature in Lisa’s state has decided to do. In their collective wisdom, they have voted to keep all but the documented out of state colleges and universities. No tax-funded subsidies and schooling for them.

This decision appeals to people who believe that giving illegals the same schooling as the native-born is just one more example of government waste.  Don’t talk to them about a Dream Act.  Dream on!

Simple Simon says these people have a point…if one thinks in terms of just dollars and cents, and if one thinks short-term, not long-term. No doubt billions of dollars could be saved if all of these children were banned from all public schools.  Now there’s a way to deal with deficits.

But think long-term. Do we really want to create an underclass of undereducated, resentful individuals.  They will grow up. Soon.The question is what will they be like when they grow up?

Simple Simon says they are here, and they will remain here, legal or not.

One more thing.  Americans should not get too hung up on this business of being legal.  Being an illegal is a great American tradition.

For example, the Proclamation of 1763 strictly forbade British colonists from settling west of the Appalachians. There were actually about 10,000 British troops serving as a kind of border patrol.

Hence, those early American pioneers who swarmed westward, squatting on land they did not own, were, well, illegals.  Daniel Boone, iconic frontiersman, was actually engaged in illegal activity when he led settlers through the Cumberland Gap from Kentucky to Tennessee.  In today’s parlance, Daniel Boone was a smuggler of illegals.Ironically, some of those screaming loudest about illegals are descendants of yesterday’s illegals.

Here’s an idea.  Why don’t we start viewing today’s “illegals” as a gift to an aging, graying American that often is generous, but sometimes becomes cranky, stingy, and hypocritical

These children are a gift that will keep on giving.  If they’re treated right, and invested in properly, today’s American illegals will become tomorrow’s physicians and nurses,  school teachers and firefighters, sailors and soldiers and pilots, judges and mayors and, one day, President.

They are America’s future. They are what America is already starting to look like .

Place your order now for an autographed copy Gene Griesman’s latest Lincoln and Obama for only $15.95.  Free shipping in the U.S.”

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99 WAYS TO GET MORE OUT OF EVERY DAY [Kindle Edition] $9.95

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—Gene Griessman is an award-winning professional speaker, actor, and consultant. His video “Lincoln on Communication” is owned by thousands of corporations, libraries, and government organizations. He has spoken at conventions all over the world. To learn more about his presentations, contact us at 404-435-2225 or abe@mindspring.com Learn more about Gene Griessman at presidentlincoln.com and atlantaspeakersbureau.com

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Business Etiquette: How To End A Conversation At A Reception

Word Power: What You Say When You Want To Move On To Other Guests At A Reception
By Gene Griessman,Ph.D.

Have you ever felt trapped at a gathering with a bore, wanted to escape, but didn’t know how to extricate yourself gracefully? You might even have been with someone you like, but you needed to speak with another individual–perhaps make a strategic contact– at the event?

Knowing what you say can save time and avoid wounding feelings.  If you break off the conversation clumsily, you can create resentment. You do not want the other person to think you think he or she is not worth talking to.

The difference between doing it clumsily and doing it skillfully can be one word–circulate. 

Here’s how you might use it. “It’s good to see you,” or “I’m enjoying our conversation, but I guess we both need to circulate a bit. I hope we can pick up our conversation later.”

Nothing else need be said.  You have not made a commitment to return.  And it leaves you with the opportunity to resume the conversation at a later time.  (In which case you might say, “I’m sorry we never got to continue our conversation….Can we do that now?”)

I use these power phrases all the time, and never have had a negative reaction.  Using the word “circulate” in this manner simply brings into focus a social obligation that you both have.

The next time you’re at a reception, or a cocktail party, and want to break off a conversation and move on to other guests,  use the magic word “circulate.”

—Gene Griessman is an award-winning professional speaker, actor, and consultant. His video “Lincoln on Communication” is owned by thousands of corporations, libraries, and government organizations. He has spoken at conventions all over the world. To learn more about his presentations, contact us at 404-435-2225 or abe@mindspring.com Learn more about Gene Griessman at presidentlincoln.com and atlantaspeakersbureau.com

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99 WAYS TO GET MORE OUT OF EVERY DAY [Kindle Edition] $9.95

“Do just one of these time tactics for just one week, and we guarantee that you will more than pay for the price of this book. If it doesn’t happen, let us know and we will cheerfully refund your money.”–Gene Griessman

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Conflict Management: When Saying Nothing Is A Mistake

When You Should Never Say Nothing
By Gene Griessman, Ph.D.

Most of the time, you won’t get into trouble for what you don’t say.

But there’s one big exception. If you have gotten into a heated argument, or a nasty quarrel, it’s a mistake to get up and just walk off, saying nothing.

Here’s the rule–it’s one that I learned years ago in a graduate-level marriage consulting course. Tell the other person that you plan to return and pick up the conversation at a later time–whether it’s a business communication, a marital issue, and a lover’s quarrel.

Just getting up and walking away without a promise to return is inviting a negative response from the other person that may be surprisingly nasty.  You may just push a button you don’t want to push.

Say something like, “I need to step into the restroom,” or “Let me get us a drink…What would you like?”  This can really defuse the situation.

Or if the conversation was really heated, and you think you both need time to cool off,, say “Let me think about this. Can I give you a call later this evening?”

Stopping the argument may be very wise.  But don’t let the way you stop it add to the problem.

You get the idea. Make sure the other person knows that you respect him or her, and aren’t just stalking off in a huff.

You don’t have to say much, but you do need to say something courteous. 

Place your order now for an autographed copy of Gene Griessman’s latest Lincoln and Obama for just $15.95.   Free shipping in the U.S.”

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—Gene Griessman is an award-winning professional speaker, actor, and consultant. His video “Lincoln on Communication” is owned by thousands of corporations, libraries, and government organizations. He has spoken at conventions all over the world. To learn more about his presentations, contact us at 404-435-2225 or abe@mindspring.com Learn more about Gene Griessman at presidentlincoln.com and atlantaspeakersbureau.com

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“Dramatically change your life for just $9.95! You will learn how to complete important projects, find more time reach elusive goals, see your dreams come true, have success in your career, and feel inner satisfaction. These 99 principles tap into powerful sociological and psychological forces. Based on the best-seller Time Tactics of Very Successful People.”

99 WAYS TO GET MORE OUT OF EVERY DAY [Kindle Edition] $9.95

“Do just one of these time tactics for just one week, and we guarantee that you will more than pay for the price of this book. If it doesn’t happen, let us know and we will cheerfully refund your money.”–Gene Griessman

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A Stunning One-Liner from “Mad Men”

What You Say To A Rude, and Stupid, Employee
By Gene Griessman, Ph.D.

Whatyousay.com is a big fan of “Mad Men.” In a recent episode, there’s a memorable one-liner that we hope you never have occasion to use.  And even if you are in such a situation, we don’t recommend that you use it.   But here it is anyway.

You won’t have to be a follower of the popular series to understand what occurs.

Don Draper, senior executive at the advertising firm of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, is in an elevator with a brash young free-lance graphic artist whom Draper has recently hired. They briefly discuss the outcome of a presentation that Draper has just made to a client.  The presentation was successful. Draper presented his own concept, not the one that the young man came up with.

The graphic artist testily and foolishly remonstrates with Draper, his boss, as follows:

“They never heard my idea.”

“I don’t like going in with two ideas. It looks weak.”

“You wouldn’t wanna look weak, would you? …What do I care? I’ve got a million of ’em. A million of ’em…”

“Good. I guess I’m lucky you work for me.”

“I feel bad for you.”

“I don’t think about you at all,” Draper replies, ending the conversation by walking out of the elevator without even a backward glance.

There are few responses you could possibly make to someone who’s saying cutting things to you than to respond, in effect: “Say what you will, think what you may. I won’t give your words, or you, a thought.”

As for business advice, whatyousay.com scarcely needs to  tell an employee never to put himself or herself in a position in which the boss is even tempted to say something like this.  Never ever attack your boss’s character.

The attitude we recommend, as long as you work for someone else, is always, “Here’s my recommendation. It’s your decision.”  Some bosses will want you to fight for your idea, but when the decision is made, you accept it as gracefully as you can so that you get a chance to fight another battle on another day.

—Gene Griessman is an award-winning professional speaker, actor, and consultant. His video “Lincoln on Communication” is owned by thousands of corporations, libraries, and government organizations. He has spoken at conventions all over the world. To learn more about his presentations, contact us at 404-435-2225 or abe@mindspring.com Learn more about Gene Griessman at presidentlincoln.com and atlantaspeakersbureau.com

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“Dramatically change your life for just $9.95! You will learn how to complete important projects, find more time reach elusive goals, see your dreams come true, have success in your career, and feel inner satisfaction. These 99 principles tap into powerful sociological and psychological forces. Based on the best-seller Time Tactics of Very Successful People.”

99 WAYS TO GET MORE OUT OF EVERY DAY [Kindle Edition] $9.95

“Do just one of these time tactics for just one week, and we guarantee that you will more than pay for the price of this book. If it doesn’t happen, let us know and we will cheerfully refund your money.”–Gene Griessman

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Abraham Lincoln Jokes About Soldiers and War

Abraham Lincoln’s Humor: Two Stories About Soldiers and War
By Gene Griessman, Ph.D.

Few topics were off-limits for Abraham Lincoln’s humor—death, sex, race, defecation, patriotism, preachers, religion in general, politicians, war. You name it. The topics that “proper” and “refined” individuals treated with care, or avoided entirely.

Lincoln caught fierce criticism when he did it, especially after he became a national figure.

Americans then were just as hard on politicians as they are now. And Lincoln, because of his controversial views on slavery plus his awkward looks, was a tempting target. Political opponents, partisan newspapers, and cartoonists were unmerciful about Lincoln’s joke-telling. “Smutty,” “the joke-telling President,” and “buffoon were some of the kindest things he was called.

We have versions of two Lincoln jokes about soldiers and war. I say versions, because Lincoln would tell the same basic joke several times with variations that suited the setting.

Also, some of Lincoln’s contemporaries who wrote them down were not skilled joke-tellers. They had no sense of timing or how to use a punch line; their accounts do not, and cannot, reproduce Lincoln’s facial expressions or voice inflections nor do they perfectly recreate the setting for the story. Every skilled humorist knows that “situational energy” makes a joke work. The hilarious joke, if told at a different time or setting, may not work well, or at all.

That said, here’s the first joke, which we know Lincoln told during the days prior to his inauguration. It was a time when many politicians were clamoring for a compromise to keep the states of the Deep South in the Union.

“It seems when a young man announced he was going off to war, his sisters wanted to make him a belt embroidered with the words,…VICTORY OR DEATH. ‘Oh, No!’ he protested ‘Don’t put it that strong. Put it VICTORY…OR GET HURT PRETTY BAD.'”

The other joke Lincoln told after the war had begun. In one version, Lincoln himself is in the story.

“It seems a young soldier who was wounded in battle was in an embarrassing situation. His fiancé wanted to know exactly where he had been wounded. When I visited the hospital where the young man was convalescing, he told me where he had been hit, but didn’t know what to write. I told him, ‘Tell her, ‘Where the bullet hit me… would not have hit thee.'”

Lincoln never stopped telling jokes, especially when old friends or politicians came calling at the White House. He told them in cabinet meetings, even when horribly bad news had arrived, He said laughing kept him from crying.

Place your order now for an autographed copy of Gene Griessman’s latest Lincoln and Obama for just $15.95. Free shipping in the U.S.”

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—Gene Griessman is an award-winning professional speaker, actor, and consultant. His video “Lincoln on Communication” is owned by thousands of corporations, libraries, and government organizations. He has spoken at conventions all over the world. To learn more about his presentations, contact us at 404-435-2225 or abe@mindspring.com Learn more about Gene Griessman at presidentlincoln.com and atlantaspeakersbureau.com

Don’t leave yet. Check out more articles. You’re already here. Why rush off? Whatyousay.com is a gold mine. We guarantee you’ll be a better communicator if you spend time here.

And consider making a donation to promote and sustain Whatyousay.com. Whatyousay.com supports the PRESIDENTLINCOLNFUND that takes Lincoln to schools and libraries.

“Dramatically change your life for just $9.95! You will learn how to complete important projects, find more time reach elusive goals, see your dreams come true, have success in your career, and feel inner satisfaction. These 99 principles tap into powerful sociological and psychological forces. Based on the best-seller Time Tactics of Very Successful People.”

99 WAYS TO GET MORE OUT OF EVERY DAY [Kindle Edition] $9.95

“Do just one of these time tactics for just one week, and we guarantee that you will more than pay for the price of this book. If it doesn’t happen, let us know and we will cheerfully refund your money.”–Gene Griessman

99 WAYS IS AVAILABLE ON KINDLE AT THE LINK BELOW

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Posted in Humor/Jokes and How To Tell Jokes, Lincoln Quotes/What would Lincoln say?, Public Speaking, Quotations | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Word Power: What You Say When You Want To Describe An Impossible Task

A Powerful Phrase You Can Use To Describe A Task That’s Exceedingly Difficult or Impossible
By Gene Griessman, Ph.D.

Here’s are some useful words you can add to your vocabulary.

Recently Steve Karnacki, a senior writer at Solon.com, was a guest on a national TV show.  When Karnacki was asked to comment on a dilemma that a prominent politician found himself in, he replied:   “That’s a needle he can’t thread.”

How can you use this yourself?  Well, you can use it verbatim if you’re describing an impossible situation, either another person’s or your own.

Or, if you’re considering a task that’s formidable, you can say:  “That needle is going to be hard to thread.”

That’s word power you can use.

—Gene Griessman is an award-winning professional speaker, actor, and consultant. His video “Lincoln on Communication” is owned by thousands of corporations, libraries, and government organizations. He has spoken at conventions all over the world. To learn more about his presentations, contact us at 404-435-2225 or abe@mindspring.com Learn more about Gene Griessman at presidentlincoln.com and atlantaspeakersbureau.com

Don’t leave yet. Check out more articles. You’re already here. Why rush off? Whatyousay.com is a gold mine. We guarantee you’ll be a better communicator if you spend time here.

And consider making a donation to promote and sustain Whatyousay.com. Whatyousay.com supports the PRESIDENTLINCOLNFUND that takes Lincoln to schools and libraries.

“Dramatically change your life for just $9.95! You will learn how to complete important projects, find more time reach elusive goals, see your dreams come true, have success in your career, and feel inner satisfaction. These 99 principles tap into powerful sociological and psychological forces. Based on the best-seller Time Tactics of Very Successful People.”

99 WAYS TO GET MORE OUT OF EVERY DAY [Kindle Edition] $9.95

“Do just one of these time tactics for just one week, and we guarantee that you will more than pay for the price of this book. If it doesn’t happen, let us know and we will cheerfully refund your money.”–Gene Griessman

99 WAYS IS AVAILABLE ON KINDLE AT THE LINK BELOW

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A British Prime Minister Shows Us How To Request Privacy

Word Power: What You Say When You Want To Have A Private Conversation With Someone
By Gene Griessman, Ph.D.

Have you ever been in a conversation with a group of individuals, but you wanted to have a one-on-one conversation with one of them? But you didn’t know just how to do it diplomatically.

If you’re self-confident, and understand word power, you don’t have to waste a lot of valuable time with inane conversation, hoping you can have a private moment later. You can learn a lesson from the British. Ralph Fiennes, who plays the role of the British Prime Minister, was in such a situation in the superb Masterpiece Contemporary thriller entitled “Page Eight” which aired in November of 2011.

Here’s the power phrase that the Prime Minister used almost effortlessly: “I’m sorry everyone, but we’re going to need some privacy.”

If you want to adapt this power phrase to your situation, with just a slight modification, you can say, “I’m sorry everyone, but Tom and I are going to need some privacy.”

An American variation could be, “I’m sorry everyone, but Tom and I are going to need some privacy. Would you excuse us for a few moments, Catch up with you later (or in a few minutes, or at the bar, at dinner, at the meeting, etc.)”

—Gene Griessman is an award-winning professional speaker, actor, and consultant. His video “Lincoln on Communication” is owned by thousands of corporations, libraries, and government organizations. He has spoken at conventions all over the world. To learn more about his presentations, contact us at 404-435-2225 or abe@mindspring.com Learn more about Gene Griessman at presidentlincoln.com and atlantaspeakersbureau.com

Don’t leave yet. Check out more articles. You’re already here. Why rush off? Whatyousay.com is a gold mine. We guarantee you’ll be a better communicator if you spend time here.

And consider making a donation to promote and sustain Whatyousay.com. Whatyousay.com supports the PRESIDENTLINCOLNFUND that takes Lincoln to schools and libraries.

“Dramatically change your life for just $9.95! You will learn how to complete important projects, find more time reach elusive goals, see your dreams come true, have success in your career, and feel inner satisfaction. These 99 principles tap into powerful sociological and psychological forces. Based on the best-seller Time Tactics of Very Successful People.”

99 WAYS TO GET MORE OUT OF EVERY DAY [Kindle Edition] $9.95

“Do just one of these time tactics for just one week, and we guarantee that you will more than pay for the price of this book. If it doesn’t happen, let us know and we will cheerfully refund your money.”–Gene Griessman

99 WAYS IS AVAILABLE ON KINDLE AT THE LINK BELOW

AMAZON.COM: GENE GRIESSMAN: KINDLE STORE


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What You Say To Turn a Complainer Into a Loyal Friend

Property Manager Turns Upset Neighbor Into Watchdog
By Gene Griessman, Ph.D.

Daryl Parrish is a real estate agent and property manager in Smyrna, Georgia, a few miles north of Atlanta.

Not long ago I asked Parrish to manage an investment property while it was being renovated. A maintenance crew went out to the property, cut down bushes, trimmed shrubs, and piled them at curbside where they could be picked up by the city.  A neighbor did not like that, and let Daryl know. That pile of trash was an unsightly nuisance, she told Daryl.  Put it somewhere else.

Now, she had no grounds, certainly no legal grounds, to make that kind of demand.  The trash was on my property, not hers. Somebody needed to tell her that.

But Daryl didn’t tell her that. Instead, he thanked her.  Told her he appreciated people like her who cared about the neighborhood.   Promised her he would swing by every day and make sure the stuff got hauled off.  If that didn’t happen right away, why he would do it himself. That’s awfully nice of you, but you don’t have to do that, she said.  Glad to do it, ma’am.

In a matter of a couple of days, the trash was gone, the woman was happy, and that was that.

Well, not really.

Daryl stopped by the woman’s house a few days later, thanked her, gave her his card, told her to call him if she ever noticed anything suspicious going on at my property.  Daryl followed up with a thank-you note.

I didn’t know all that until I got an email from Daryl.  But now that I know, it makes total sense. What Daryl does is convert critics into supporters…friends.  And  it’s good for business. Here’s an excerpt from his email.

“…I try to make friends of the people around my rentals and tell them if they ever have a problem to call and I will take care of it.

I have a watchdog for almost all of my property. It’s the best insurance I can get.

Sometimes it is aggravating, but it pays because I always know first if there is trouble. I always go by and thank them personallly for the complaint, even if it is stupid, or send them a note. It saves ;me lots of money in the long run. The neighbor was nice and I thanked her for wanting to keep the neighborhood looking good.”

“A soft answer turneth away wrath,” the Bible tells us.  Daryl Parrish has learned that a soft answer can also be good for business.

(You can reach Daryl Parrish at Realty One, Smyrna, Georgia,www.realtyoneofgeorgia.com; 404-210-6798)

—Gene Griessman is an award-winning professional speaker, actor, and consultant. His video “Lincoln on Communication” is owned by thousands of corporations, libraries, and government organizations. He has spoken at conventions all over the world. To learn more about his presentations, contact us at 404-435-2225 or abe@mindspring.com Learn more about Gene Griessman at presidentlincoln.com and atlantaspeakersbureau.com

Don’t leave yet. Check out more articles. You’re already here. Why rush off? Whatyousay.com is a gold mine. We guarantee you’ll be a better communicator if you spend time here.

And consider making a donation to promote and sustain Whatyousay.com. Whatyousay.com supports the PRESIDENTLINCOLNFUND that takes Lincoln to schools and libraries.

“Dramatically change your life for just $9.95! You will learn how to complete important projects, find more time reach elusive goals, see your dreams come true, have success in your career, and feel inner satisfaction. These 99 principles tap into powerful sociological and psychological forces. Based on the best-seller Time Tactics of Very Successful People.”

99 WAYS TO GET MORE OUT OF EVERY DAY [Kindle Edition] $9.95

“Do just one of these time tactics for just one week, and we guarantee that you will more than pay for the price of this book. If it doesn’t happen, let us know and we will cheerfully refund your money.”–Gene Griessman

99 WAYS IS AVAILABLE ON KINDLE AT THE LINK BELOW

AMAZON.COM: GENE GRIESSMAN: KINDLE STORE


Posted in Business Advice, Complaints/How To Handle Complaints/How To Complain, Writing/How To Write letters, notes,articles, email, books | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Advice For The Divorced Man or Woman: Ending A Romance

What You Say, How You Feel When A Post-Divorce Romance Ends
by Gene Griessman, Ph.D.

The World of the Formerly Married, that wonderful classic from the sixties by Morton M. Hunt, has some poignant insights about how divorced people feel when a relationship ends.

There’s often the feeling, Why did this happen to me?  Why can’t I make love last?  It’s not uncommon at all for divorced individuals to feel this way, that what is happening is unique, or at least very rare.

Actually, from a sociological and psychological point of view, the world of the formerly married is a fairly predictable place.  With that thought in mind, whatyousay.com shares this except from Morton M. Hunt to tell you that you are not alone.

“Formerly married people usually have a brief flare-up of the old separation symptoms—depression, insomnia, loneliness, and the like—at the end of a love affair. Offsetting the new sense of failure, however, is the recognition that they have come through it before, adjusted, learned to make their way, and found new partners and new love.

“The depression and misery are therefore short-lived, compared to those which followed the end of the marriage. And still there are many things that remind them and stab them to the heart…But most of the Formerly Married know how to live with all this, and recuperate fairly fast.

“Indeed, after the first feelings of anger or hurt have subsided, they are very likely to have a tolerant and kindly attitude toward each other, and to speak well of each other to mutual friends. They have learned through experience that people whose love does not last are not so much guilty or imperfect as they are victims of their own needs, and that the needs of two adult people seldom dovetail perfectly.” 1966:195

So, what do you say when you have come to the end?  Don’t say anything to your former best friend or love that’s so hurtful it will be remembered forever.  The anger will eventually burn itself out, and you will be sorry for anything you say that’s reckless or cruel.  And it won’t do any good to say anything nasty.  Do you think your angry words will effect a lasting change for the better? So don’t burn the bridge down.  It’s one thing for a relationship to end, but quite another to make a lifelong enemy.

It’s also a good time for self-talk.  Whenever the pain rolls in, say to yourself, “It will soon pass.  It will soon pass.”   That’s good self-talk for any kind of depression or grief, and it certainly is appropriate when a relationship breaks apart.

—Gene Griessman is an award-winning professional speaker, actor, and consultant. His video “Lincoln on Communication” is owned by thousands of corporations, libraries, and government organizations. He has spoken at conventions all over the world. To learn more about his presentations, contact us at 404-435-2225 or abe@mindspring.com Learn more about Gene Griessman at presidentlincoln.com and atlantaspeakersbureau.com

Don’t leave yet. Check out more articles. You’re already here. Why rush off? Whatyousay.com is a gold mine. We guarantee you’ll be a better communicator if you spend time here.

And consider making a donation to promote and sustain Whatyousay.com. Whatyousay.com supports the PRESIDENTLINCOLNFUND that takes Lincoln to schools and libraries.

“Dramatically change your life for just $9.95! You will learn how to complete important projects, find more time reach elusive goals, see your dreams come true, have success in your career, and feel inner satisfaction. These 99 principles tap into powerful sociological and psychological forces. Based on the best-seller Time Tactics of Very Successful People.”

99 WAYS TO GET MORE OUT OF EVERY DAY [Kindle Edition] $9.95

“Do just one of these time tactics for just one week, and we guarantee that you will more than pay for the price of this book. If it doesn’t happen, let us know and we will cheerfully refund your money.”–Gene Griessman

99 WAYS IS AVAILABLE ON KINDLE AT THE LINK BELOW

AMAZON.COM: GENE GRIESSMAN: KINDLE STORE


Posted in Never say..., Relationships: dating, divorce, family, and friends | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment