Dating Advice: What You Say When You Contact Someone On Match.com Whatyousay.com asked an individual we know who has been successful on Match.com to let us see his emails. One of them is below, although some of the details are fictionalized to protect the writer’s identity. “When I read your profile, I was very impressed. “Let me tell you the reasons. We both listen to NPR, we both read the New York Times, and most importantly, you stated that you are a liberal. I like theater, just like you do. In fact, I just got back from an impromptu trip to NYC, where I soaked up Broadway plays and musicals. You mentioned Eddie’s Attic. It’s one of my favorite local places. So naturally I am interested in meeting you. Let me know if you are interested.” Footnote. The woman who wrote the profile responded, they emailed back and forth two more times, they exchanged phone numbers, they dated, and they are still dating. Here’s why we think this email succeeded. One. He began with a compliment, but it was not gushy. It’s a mistake to sound like you are in awe of the other person. Two. He showed that he had carefully read her profile, and he made specific comments about them. This particular email did not ask a question, but whatyousay.com thinks it’s a often good idea to ask a question about some detail in the profile that requires a reply. For example, we read a profile written by a woman who said she had hiked in the Andes. If you responded to her, you might insert the question: “What was it like to hike in the Andes?” Three. He did not ignore the political feelings of the profile writer. One of our contributors, who’s single and a liberal too, tells us that she gets long emails from guys who are obviously very conservative politically. “It’s like they don’t read what I wrote in my profile.” The reason this is important is because the nation is polarized politically. A lot of people feel very strongly about politics. If the other person puts down “conservative” or “liberal,” it means they probably feel strongly about it. If they don’t feel strongly about it, or if they are a-political, Match.com permits them to choose “middle of the road.” Four. He conveyed some feeling–“So naturally I would like to meet you.” Five. He indicated that he had a little discretionary money, and that he liked to do spontaneous, fun things; he mentioned his recent trip to NYC and Broadway productions. Six. He asked for a response, but without sounding needy: “Let me know if you are interested.” Whatyousay.com believes in studying people who are good at what you want to do, and mirroring their words and behavior. You may eventually develop your own unique style that’s successful, but while you’re just learning, you probably should just do what other successful people do. Don’t leave yet. Check out at least one other article. You’re already here. Why rush off? Whatyousay.com is full of good advice. We guarantee you’ll be a better communicator if you invest more time here.
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